The idea of permanency is comforting but false. There is nothing that exists today that is truly permanent. No person, species, system, technology, company, job, building, highway…nothing.
Nothing is permanent.
So why are we caught up in believing that so many things are?
Because we tell ourselves that they are.
Unfortunate things can happen when you are attached to permanency. Wanting things to stay as they are creates a strong resistance to change. It makes you defensive and territorial. It causes you to dig in your heels, argue your viewpoints, and overlook or minimize growth opportunities. Another form of attachment to permanency…believing that things will never change…compels you to stay in an unhealthy relationship, remain in a job you dislike, excuse yourself from taking action, and generally creates complacency. Hanging on for dear life to a thought, a situation, or a person constrains your potential. It impedes your growth. Even when those thoughts, situations and people are positive. As French author François de la Rochefoucauld said so accurately and eloquently, “The only constant in life is change.” No matter the situation, it will change, for better or worse. How you handle the change will dictate how you move through it (see my blog post on choosing your attitude here for some encouragement).
The sooner you let go of (ok, reduce…that’s more realistic) your attachment to permanency (otherwise known as being resistant to change), the sooner you can see any situation for what it truly is (changeable and ever-changing) and be able to better go with the flow, accept change, and make things happen.
So what can you do? Please note, I am not an expert, psychologist, or psychiatrist. These are things that help me when I find myself being certain of permanency and resisting or getting caught off guard by change. By no means do I think my techniques work for everyone but I’d like to share just in case a few of them can help you.
None of this work is easy nor is it comfortable. But the truth of any situation is that it is not permanent and it will always change. The goal isn’t to hopelessly give in when you feel that the right thing to do is resist or give up when you think something shouldn’t change. It’s about being able to recognize that attachment to permanency can lead to stress and unhappiness. Rather than let it take you down an unhealthy path, frame your thoughts and feelings from a place of wanting to be part of a solution and finding a positive outcome. Sometimes that means letting go, sometimes that means finding a different way. But always it means that it will change.
I’ll leave you with this quote from author, Ursula K. Le Guin, as food for thought: “The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.”
Thank you for reading,
Please feel free to comment, like, and share. It’s always appreciated.
A Quick Blurb on what this blog is about.
Welcome to my blog! My name is Kerry Siggins and plain speaking, honest leadership is my mantra. My intention is to help those who lead (or want to lead) become better at saying and doing what needs to be said and done in a way that it can be heard and seen, one person at a time.